FOOTBALL CHRISTIANITY

 Quarterback Sneak: People who quietly exit immediately following communion, a quarter of the way through the service.

 Draft choice: Selection of a seat near the door.

 Draw play: What many children (and a few adults) do with their bulletins.

 Bench warmer: Those whose only participation is their attendance Sunday morning.

 Fumble: Dropping a hymnal, singing the wrong verse, and general inattention to what’s taking place.

 Backfield in motion: Making two or three trips out of the assembly during the sermon.

 Stay in the pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should go towards the work of the church.

 Sudden death: The minister who preaches past his allotted time.

 Blitz: The stampede for the doors after the services.